In yesterday’s article, I discussed the signs that you may be in an unhealthy relationship. If you are in a healthy relationship, that’s fantastic.
But, if you have determined that you are in what you think is an unhealthy relationship and want to try and repair it, what steps can you take?
Of course if your partner has been abusive or violent, you should be seeking immediate help. Any environment where you are experiencing cruelty or are scared for your life, it’s vitally important that you reach out to support centers, crisis lines or the police for assistance. You do have choices. Take the choice where you are able to be safe.
If you have been experiencing any of the signs of an unhealthy relationship, you should first ask yourself if you want to repair the relationship or move on. There is no shame in admitting that the relationship is damaged beyond repair, particularly if more than one red flag or trouble signs is present.
Here are six ways that you can attempt to heal your relationship:
1. Communicate, communicate, communicate
People in healthy relationships are always communicating. Being able talk things through with your partner is vitally important to the health of your relationship. Checking in with each other periodically and resolving any ongoing issues can help problems not fester and become unmanageable. Both partners should sit down and calmly discuss their feelings, concerns and needs without recriminations or confrontations. If you want to repair and strengthen your relationship you need to communicate with each other.
2. Spend quality and quantity time together
Being able to spend time with your friends and family sometimes is really important, but spending time with your life partner is also really important. Giving the best of yourself to your partner and wanting to spend time with them can result in a stronger bond between two people. There are plenty of activities that couples can do together to (re)build trust and commitment to each other, such as a scheduling a regular date night, going out dancing, and exploring new activities together. There are countless ways that you can rediscover each other.
3. Be truly interested in your partner
No one likes to be belittled or shamed or have their dreams put down. Being supportive of your partner is really important as it shows that you accept them and want to encourage them. Offer support and words of encouragement for your loved one’s hobbies, interests and passions. Let them be the person they are and look for ways to ‘be the wind beneath their wings’. Corny, I know, but nothing beats having a supportive partner that believes in you. Amazing things can happen when you have someone in your corner, no matter what life throws at you. Be that person to your partner.
4. Bring things into the light
Don’t let issues and hurts fester within you. Adults in healthy relationships try to resolve their problems and then move on. No one likes to be in a relationship where one partner is being passive-aggressive. Talk about what the real issue is with your relationship. You might be surprised at what issues are really the problem.
5. Seek professional help
No one tells us how to have healthy relationships. We are a product of our upbringing, culture and environments. Sometimes, seeking professional help is the answer. Professionals have access to information, insights and tools that we do not. Couples or individual therapy can help you improve relationship skills. If this is the most important relationship in your life, you deserve to explore every avenue that can help you in your current relationship.
6. Accept yourself and your partner’s faults
No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. If all things considered you believe that you are in a healthy relationship and you and your partner are committed to each other, then accept them for who they are. There’s a reason why you fell in love with them in the first place. Accept their little idiosyncrasies and quirks and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Let things go and learn to accept others.
In any of the ways that you choose to help heal your relationship, it’s vitally important to be honest about what you want from the relationship and from your partner.
It’s your choice whether to try and heal your current relationship or to move on with your life. Regardless of what you do, know that you deserve to be loved for who you are and that you deserve to be happy in your relationships.
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