It’s within each of us to create the life that we want. A life that has meaning and purpose. A life that we created and not one that we defaulted into.
You’ll need a journal, time for reflection, and a quiet area to do this important exercise.
1. Write down the following headings on individual sheets of paper:
When I was 0-10…
When I was 10-20…
When I was 10-30…
When I was 30-40…
When I was 40-50…
When I was 50-60…
When I was 60-70…
When I was 70-80…
When I was 80-90…
When I was 90-100…
When you have each of those headings on an individual sheet of paper, then start reflecting on the memories that came to you during each decade of your life. Don’t worry about the time periods that haven’t happened yet. This first part is to look back to your past.
What do you vividly remember when you were a young child? when you were a teenager? when you graduated from college or had your first job? when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend. You get the idea. What were the defining moments of your life in each decade. What did you learn during those individual periods of your life? What lessons did you learn? What beliefs did you adopt? What decisions did you make in your life during those time periods? Write down your strongest memory for each period.
2. Now, go back to each period of your life and write down how you felt about yourself during that time period. Write about how you felt physically, emotionally, intellectually, occupationally, spiritually and socially during the decades.
Did you think you were invincible and unstoppable when you were 10? Did you think you were the hottest thing on two legs when you were 22? Were you outgoing and very sociable before you got married in your 20′s? Maybe you explored different religious beliefs in your 30′s. Have you reached the pinnacle of your career in your 40′s? Maybe you went back to school and started another career in your 30′s. Or started your own business in your 50′s. Reflect over your past decades and write down how you felt about yourself during those time periods.
3. Look at the empty pages that you have for those decades of your life that hasn’t happened yet. Write down what you want to have, be and do in your life during those decades. If you can’t see that far ahead, then describe your life as you want it to be in the next five or ten years. Remember the last step where you wrote down how you felt about yourself in each decade of your life so far? In this step, write down how you see yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, occupationally, spiritually and socially for the pages of your life that hasn’t happened yet. The sky is the limit here so don’t box yourself in by any limiting beliefs that you have had about your life so far. The future hasn’t been written yet and just because you have done something in the past doesn’t mean that you have to do it for your entire future.
What would your physical self be like during the future? How rich will your social life be in your 50′s, 60′s, 70′s and beyond? Where do you see your career going in the next decade. Are you aiming for Freedom 55? Or maybe you are already retired and see yourself traveling the world and volunteering your time. Write down who you want to be on those unwritten pages.
4. Write down all of the highlights of your life and focus on the areas that you have gained the most success. What are your strongest memories? How can you continue with that success or develop new successes in your life? Brainstorm ideas of what success you see yourself in the future. Appreciate the successes you already have had in your life.
5. Continue creating the life you want on the empty pages. Brainstorm ideas of how you see yourself in the future. Don’t let any limiting beliefs or labels define your future self. Start thinking and writing down what you want to have in your future. What experiences do you want to have? Who do you want to be? Use your imagination to visualize your future self and life. Then, determine what you need to do TODAY to move your closer to that future self. Don’t let what’s happened in the past define who you are, if that’s not your ideal self. Learn the lessons of the past to move forward.
Bonus Step: Take a new sheet of paper and write down your obituary. I know it’s kind of a corny exercise and can get pretty emotional, but writing down your obituary while you’re still alive can focus your thinking tremendously. It will also be very motivating as you uncover priorities and things in your life that are important to you. Write down how you want to be remembered in life. I think some things will surprise you when you complete these exercises.
You have the ability to create your own life. Use this exercise to help you create a wonderful future that has meaning to you.
Related Posts:
1. The First Step In Finding Meaning For Your Life
2. The Only Words You’ll Need To Overcome Your Fears
3. From Homeless To The Infopreneur – Guest Post
4. Do You Need To Let Go and Forgive?
5. The Next Step In Finding Meaning For Your Life
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Great exercise and the obit exercise is important too. I’ve done both of these in various coaching programs and they’re both powerful wake up calls. It’s so easy to just slip into ‘automatic pilot’ mode in life and not recognize our creative potential in shaping our lives.
Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..How to be Your Own Blog Post Fairy
Hi Jean,
They certainly are powerful wake-up calls. We can’t do anything about our past, but we can certainly do something about the decades of life ahead of us to create the kind of life that we want. We all have a responsibility to ourselves as you only get one shot in life.
Thanks so much for your comment, I appreciate it.
Karen
This is a great exercise. I noticed that by breaking down my life into decades I was reflecting on the things I had done that meant something to me. By the time I was writing on the things for my future, I had many ideas of what I wanted to do. With that in mind, I have a clearer direction of what goals I want to take in my life.
Steve´s last blog ..What Would You Do With Only a Short Time to Live
Hi Steve,
You’ve captured the essence of the exericse exactly! I hope that you have a clearer path now for the future that you want to create.
Thanks,
Karen
Writing down your obituary? Wow. Never thought of that one before. I’m totally going to try that one and see what I come up with. I think its an awesome way to figure out how you should be living your life today.
Justin Popovic´s last blog ..Are you a Spectator or an Achiever
Hi Justin,
At first I thought you were being sarcastic, as writing your obituary is a common practise to get you to think about how you want to be remembered, but I see that you are serious – I’m just glad that I was able to introduce something new to you today. It’s a great exercise to get you to be real about your life and where you are going.
Thanks,
Karen
This is a really good blog-reading day. Wow. Courtney Carver is giving up TV and you want people to write down their obituaries. I know that was not the point, but I am focused on it right now….
Ok. I worked that out. Great post! I never thought of doing this, but I think that I will tonight. It might not be a bad excercize to do on a smaller level for things like your career, your blog, etc. That is, you could write what you have accomplished and what you want to accomplish by time period & then write how you want them to end.
Excellent idea! I am so excited today that I may just go home, throw my TV out the window, and start a new life.
Have a great day Karen!
mark´s last blog ..How Change Can Happen to You
This is an excellent blog reading day, Mark, because I really enjoyed your latest post “How Change Can Happen To You” very much.
Good luck with throwing out the TV. Your wife may have a say in you doing that.
I hope you had an excellent day as well. I know that it was certainly a thoughtful one.
Thanks,
Karen
Karen,
This is a great exercise and I can see it really helping with understanding our past impacts us today and developing a clear vision for the future. One thing that I have been able to gain from my past is a comfort that no matter what I have gone through, it has always turned out okay, or more specifically, it has never been hectic as it appeared at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20 I suppose. Regardless, I think everyone can use an exercise such as this to develop further self-awareness and clarity of purpose.
Welcome Joe,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. You’re absolutely correct when you say that we have survived our past, no matter how much turmoil or struggle that we have gone through. We are able to handle our future, as well. No matter what.
You may be interested in another post of mine which touches on this topic:
http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/04/19/the-only-words-you-need-to-overcome-your-fears/
Thanks,
Karen
Wonderful article, Karen! Love the tips you posted. I think it’s important to identify his underlying values because this would help him focus on the things that he needs to do in order to move towards his goal.
Thanks so much, Kat for the kind words and I’m glad that you enjoyed the article.
Great exercise Karen because it forces you to create a written description of you life with an easy decade-by-decade focus. The descriptions of the decades show patterns and patterns are very meaningful to discern whether your life is developing in the ways that you want. Your life cycles in either a positive or negative way and if you see it developing in what you perceive as the wrong direction you can take charge of changing it by being proactive in the decades yet to come. This exercise works very well in tandem with your list of what you want to accomplish in your life.
Thanks for your great work, Karen.
Ann´s last blog ..How Teens Can Lose Weight Without Stress
Hi Ann,
You bring up an excellent point about patterns in your life. If your pattern isn’t working, then see where you can change your focus. You owe it to your future self.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and share your insight with us!
Karen
This is a powerful exercise, Karen. After all, our life is an unfolding script. We are the script writer and play the starring role. If we don’t write a script with burning desires and inspired action we will get handed one with melodramas and soap operas. That exercise is a great facility to spell out and create a burning desire. Desire gives muscle to our imagination, force to our vision and vitality to our actions. Now, we can see what needs to be done with clarity and enthusiasm.
rob white´s last blog ..What’s it Take to Master Life
Hi Rob,
I am the star of my life. I love that! We are also the writer of our lives and I sure don’t want to write a soap opera
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Karen
and… I have my tweetie button up now. Thanks again!
rob white´s last blog ..What’s it Take to Master Life
You’re welcome. I’m glad that you took my advice so that many more people can share your great wisdom at your site.
Hi Karen,
Great exercise. I’ve got some homework to do. There’s a great saying that says ‘the future comes from behind us’….think your exercise emphasises this but also allows us to change it too.
Thanks,
Adrian
Adrian Swinscoe´s last blog ..Does size matter or is it more important what you do with it
Hi Adrian,
You know, I have not heard of that exact saying, but it’s very wise. We always have the ability to change – ourselves and our circumstances. If we choose to do so.
Thanks for stopping by,
Karen
I have done an exercise similar to this one and it really opened my eyes to how everything I do in the now will have a ripple effect decades later. The obit one I will have to tackle soon! Great post…really helpful stuff there.
Clearly Composed´s last blog .. How Fast Is Fast
Thanks so much for your comment, CC. You’re absolutely right that we need to remember that what we do today has a ripple effect for our future selves.
Very nice exercise Karen, I think it is very important to reflect back on the good times through our lives. By focusing on the times where we had the most success, we are focusing on the positivity and optimism in our life and hence we attract similar results. Thanks for sharing Karen
Dia´s last blog ..Improve your confidence
Thanks, and I’m happy that you enjoyed reading the article, Dia. I hope that we have had a lot of success in our past so that we can build upon that momentum, but if you haven’t, then completing this exercise can help you pinpoint those areas in your life that can use some tweaking. Learning from the past is the best lesson for a successful future.
i like how you simplified the process and divided it into easy steps, thanks for the post karen:)
Farouk´s last undefined ..Response cached until Mon 12 @ 8:17 GMT (Refreshes in 23.90 Hours)
You’re welcome, Farouk. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Karen,
I have done some form of exercise like this but this one seems to have more profound effect as we can do from birth till death exercise how it will be. I am stuck at my own death writing as it requires and makes us think. Thank you for making me think about my life and death while I can. Very powerful!
Preeti @ Heart and Mind´s last blog ..No Spend Month Challenge- Update 1
Hi Preeti,
I’m glad that I’ve made you stop and think about your life and what kind of life you want to create for yourself. It can be a very powerful exercise to help you focus on what you want (and don’t want) in your life. Of course, we can’t do anything about our pasts, but the future is all ours.
Thanks for stopping by,
Karen
I have never seen this exercise before. It looks promising to help get over the blockage.
Try it out, Ralph, and see if you have uncovered anything that you can start adding into (or back into) your life, or take out things that no longer working for you. You’ve got a lot of wisdom and experience to share and to learn, yet.
Thanks,
Karen
This is a brilliant exercise Karen.
The self-reflection coupled with the desire to create a future that really means something to us is very powerful. I particularly liked the bonus step. People might think it morbid but I often think about how I will be remembered by others. It’s a thought that regularly drives me out of slumps to bigger and better heights.
Ben´s last blog ..Friday’s Personal Development Homework
Thanks, Ben. I agree that writing your orbit can definitely make you stop and think about your life and where you want it to go. It’s a great motivator.