I’ve been thinking more and more about what it means to be happy and think I’ve come up with 5 keys that are pretty universal to being happy.

“Don’t worry, be happy.” – Bobby McFerrin

1. Know that you deserve to be happy

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” ~ Horace

You have to believe that you deserve happiness as a birthright and that any struggles that you are going through are momentary distractions. Of course, we can’t go around with the attitude that every day will  be JoyJoy day or walk around with a stupid grin on our faces. But, I do believe that happiness is a natural state for humans.

If you are having a problem believing that you deserve to be happy, I suggest writing as one of your goals in your goals book “I am happy and I deserve to be happy”. Writing this sentence down, even when you don’t believe it today, will focus your mind on being happy and away from unhappiness.

You can also do what I did and write down a list of things that make you happy so that you can refer back to the list when you think that you don’t deserve happiness in your life. Here’s my 100 Things That Make Me Happy. What’s on your list?

Let today be first day of the rest of your life has a happy person.

2. Take personal responsibility for all your choices in life

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ~ Denis Waitley

Happiness is a choice. Everyone can choose to be happy or to choose to increase their happiness level. How long will you keep blaming others for choices you’ve made in your life? Anyone over the age of 18 is an adult and doesn’t have the right to blame their parents or their circumstances anymore.  You don’t need to waste the rest of your life or your energy being a victim. Take personal responsibility for everything in your life and trust yourself to choose those things that will result in your happiness.

Tal Ben-Shahar wrote in his book, Happier, that people often think something or someone in the future will allow them to be happy. Or they blame circumstances of their past. Ben-Shahar says that people must live in the now and “rather than allowing ourselves to remain enslaved by our past or future we must learn to make the most of what is presently in front of us and all around us.”

When you stop blaming others and take responsibility for all the decisions in your life, you free yourself so that you can be on your true path in life. One with happiness.

3. Increase your social connections

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou

Studies have shown that people who have close personal connections with other people feel happier with their lives. There’s something to be said for being able to be with people who make you feel good about yourself and your choices in life. Being surrounded by people who support you alleviates your stress levels and makes you feel like you can share your uniqueness with others.

Surround yourself with people who are positive influences in your life. Eliminate (or at least limit) the amount of negative people in your life. They’ll only suck the life and happiness right out of you. Be with those  who uplift you. If you are feeling lonely, try to increase your friendship circle so that you have close friends that you can count on when you need a boost.

4. Don’t compare yourself or your life to anyone else’s

“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else” – Judy Garland

It’s very hard not to compare ourselves with others. People are consciously or unconsciously blowing their own horns all the time in an effort to be validated. I see the biggest egos on Twitter – tweets that people write in 140 characters or less how wonderful their lives are or what a wonderful adventure their live is. It must be wonderful to have such wonderful lives (rolls eyes). But, of course people are not going to write about the mundaneness of their lives. Who wants to read that? So, they blow up the most minute thing or event in their day. It’s all a mirage.

You will lose when you compare yourself to others. There will always be someone else who is getting more of <insert your comparison factor here>. No matter what you do, you can’t win every match. It will start to affect your actions in life because you are thinking how you can ‘win’ against someone else’s life choices.

It can be a vicious cycle and will only lead to unhappiness. In order to be happy, stop playing the game.

When you stop comparing yourself to others and start living your own life, your happiness and satisfaction of your choices will increase. You will realize that you are good enough as you are.

5. Expect good things to happen to you

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – James Oppenheim

Happy people are optimists and optimists are happy people. When we expect good things to happen in our lives, guess what happens? Good things happen because we are in a state of mindful expectation of those good things. Your optimistic beliefs will govern your actions. When you are feeling optimistic about your life and of other people in it, don’t you think it would result in happiness? Walk around with a scowl all day long, be in a bad mood while pushing people away because you think they’ll just hurt or disappoint you, and see if you can be happy. I bet you can’t attract happiness with that attitude.

Happy people want to be around other happy people. When you have the expectation that most people are good and that life can be great, you’ll be on the lookout for good things to enter your life. Your consciousness and attractiveness will then lead to choices that will result in feelings of happiness.

Expecting good things to happen to you becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you expect good things to happen, the more good things happen to you. Don’t you think that will result in more happiness to you?

What are your thoughts? Are you ready to adopt some of these keys so that you will have more happiness in your life?

Related Posts:

1. 50 Inspirational Quotes
2. Stop Lying To Yourself
3. Do You Need To Let Go And Forgive?
4. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self
5. What Are You Waiting For?

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Tagged as: Happiness, Personal Development, Success