This is a guest-post from M.Farouk Radwan of http://www.2knowmyself.com

It’s a brand new year and we all have goals and resolutions that we which to make true but do you know that most people forget about their new year resolutions mere days or even weeks after the beginning of the new year?

In order to to help you be successful, here are 5 surefire methods to help you stick to your New Year Resolutions:

1. Are you trying to change a symptom instead of a root cause?

Some people incorrectly decide to change a bad habit without knowing that this bad habit is just a symptom. For example many people smoke when they feel stressed and so learning how to control stress can be the solution to their smoking problem and not deciding to quit smoking without understanding the problem. Ensure that the change you want to see in yourself isn’t a bandaid for a deeper, underlying issue. Take time to self-reflect on what is really driving you to change.

2. You must write your resolutions down.

Writing allows the subconscious mind to absorb the information and turns a mere wish into a strong desire. Research has shown that people who write down their goals become most likely to stick to them than those who don’t. Have you written down your goals for the year, yet? If not, why not? Now’s the time to write down what you want to change for this brand new year.

3. Don’t set goals because everything is doing it.

It’s very common that people write resolutions just because everyone else is writing them too at the beginning of the New Year. It’s the thing to do. In order to make sure that you stick to your resolutions you must write ones that help you fulfill your most important desires else you won’t be motivated to pursue them. Do you know what your most important goals are? If not, spend time figuring out what you really want to accomplish this year.

4. Program your subconscious mind.

Studies have shown that continuous repetition programs the subconscious mind and makes the beliefs stronger. If you want to believe more in your goals then you must read them each morning or even better hang them above your desk so that you can read them daily.

5. Increase your desire to reach your goals.

Each few days you must visualize how your life will be like after reaching your goals. That would increase your desire to reach those goals and so make you much more committed to your New Year Resolutions.

How are you going to stick to your New Years Resolutions? Share with us by leaving a comment below. Thanks!

Written by M.Farouk Radwan. the Founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com

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4. Succeeding Means Loving Yourself – Guest Post
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This is a guest post from Mitch Tarala from www.ExploringInfinity.com.

Do you ever feel like you for some reason always seem to sabotage your own best intentions?

Like when you tried that diet and couldn’t stop cheating? You told everyone the diet ‘just didn’t work’, but really, it was you that didn’t work for the diet. Or how about that time you blew that really important job interview because you forgot to set your alarm the night before and slept in.

Maybe you’ve been trying to save up for something you really want, but you just keep spending over your limit and draining your savings account.

Perhaps you’ve been trying to launch your home based internet business and you keep telling yourself ‘Today I’m going to write 3 articles and spend at least 1 hour doing site promotion.’ but then you only write one article and spend the rest of the day walking the dog, playing with the kids, buying insurance, watching the news, reading a book, or anything other than what you wanted to do, and need to do if you want your business to be a success.

Trust me.. I know all about it!

We’ve all sabotaged our own best efforts and later looked back and thought “WHY did I do that?!” at one point or another.

Well it comes down to two things — your self discipline and learning to deal with the fear of success. That’s right, I said fear of success. Let’s start with that.

Fear of Success

For many people the fear of success is much more problematic than the fear of failure. Many people say they aren’t afraid of failure, but they never mention their very real fear of success. Perhaps this is because most people aren’t even aware of their fear of success, because the fear of success is often deeply rooted in the subconscious mind and it is not present in the conscious mind that is doing most of the thinking.

Fear of success can stem from many different places. Some people subconsciously (or even consciously) feel that they are unworthy of the success that they would like to achieve. They don’t see themselves as ever being able to achieve success and believe that ‘success is for the successful’, and in their minds the definition of ‘successful’ certainly does not include them.

Some people stop themselves from fulfilling their own dreams because they believe that if they were to be successful that would mean that their current friends and family would turn on them or try to use them, like they would become a target because of their apparent success. This is a fear that many people share, and perhaps it might be true. But is it really a reason to sabotage yourself?

Much of this fear stems from inner conflicts due to improper visualization and planning for achieving your goals. When you haven’t really thought about what will change in your life and how your success will effect you, you will remain in fear of the unknown effects of achieving your biggest goals subconsciously, if not consciously as well.

Dream Building

The best way to remedy this situation is to learn proper visualization techniques and do some dream building. Dream building is when you imagine having completed your goals, living your dream. While imagining this you try to clearly experience all of the differences in your life when your goals have all been completed. Who would your friends be? Would some of your friends be jealous? Would you lose some of your friends because of your success? Would you have better friends? Different types of people? Be honest. What kind of clothes would you be wearing? Where did you get the clothes? Are they different or more expensive than what you’re wearing today? Why? Where would you live? What kind of food would you eat? How would it taste? Imagine every single thing about your life, what would be different? What would be the same? Why?

To accelerate this dream building process you could go and physically do, see, smell, taste, and feel the things that would be different about your life. If you would eat only organic foods then go to the market and buy a few organic apples, examine them, feel them, smell them, eat them. See what it’s like. Imagine what it would be like if you were successful (you already are, you just don’t know it yet). If you would live in a big fancy house go look at big fancy houses, take a tour if you can. Try to experience what it would be like in real life to be successfully achieving all of your goals.

Get more familiar with what you want your life to be like and what it would truly be like if your goals were achieved. This way the change is not so ‘unknown’ and mysterious to the subconscious and conscious minds and it’s much less of something for them to fear.

Your Self-Image

Another problem is when your subconscious view of yourself and your conscious perceptions are not congruent with each other. Perhaps consciously you think you’re fairly outgoing, you put off a happy-friendly type of vibe, and that people perceive you as very personable, but to most people you come off kind of quiet, a bit shy, but overall pretty nice. In this case there are two different perceptions of you, one that you have of yourself, and one that other people pick up from you. This is because your subconscious and your conscious minds are not in line. Your subconscious might see you as shy and introspective, so you appear to be somewhat of a cross between your conscious self-image and your subconscious self-image to your friends, family, and colleagues.

To help bring your two minds together and help them see you in more similar terms you can practice doing some whole brain thinking exercises to begin getting the two halves of your brain working together. These exercises help work both sides of your brain and encourage ‘whole brained thinking’. Instead of constantly battling one another these exercises can help train both sides of your brain to work as a whole which will also improve the strength of the communication going on between the conscious and subconscious minds.

Here are 3 Whole-Brain Games to get you started:

• Infinity Signs – Draw the infinity symbol (a sideways figure 8 ) with one hand, then try to add the second hand in doing it in the opposite direction. Keep practicing! Do this for several minutes per day if you want to improve. You can also use a pen and paper to do a similar brain game, draw the infinity symbol on a piece of paper with your right hand, then do it with your left hand, keep alternating.
• Cross & Touch – Use your right hand or elbow and touch your left knee, then use your left hand or elbow and touch your right knee. Do this at least 25 times for each side.
• Opposite Hand Writing - Practice writing everything with your opposite hand. This is a fun and challenging exercise to practice frequently.

There are lots of other ways to improve your connection to the subconscious mind as well. I practice Qigong which is a fabulous way to connect with other levels of the self. I highly recommend some sort of meditation, Qigong, Tai Chi, or yoga as a way to improve the communication between different aspects of yourself. It’s also a great way to explore deeper levels of your mind and body.

You may also want to use your personal mission statement every day as this will help reinforce the self-image that you consciously want into your subconscious. If you don’t have a mission statement, you should create one. It’s simply a few sentences or paragraphs that you write out about what your mission is. You write it in the present tense as if you’re stating the way your life and experiences are. An example of a personal mission statement is:

“I am confident and well-spoken. People respect what I have to say, and they respect me as a person. I feel great every day when I wake up and feel thankful for having such a sharp, clear, mind. I seem to have success in each area of my life that matters most to me. My friends are great and I feel so lucky to have been blessed with such a great family….”

Your statement can be as long or short as you like, but it’s best to add some detail to it and really feel it. You should read this every day when you wake up and every night before you go to bed. Doing this simple action every day can literally transform your reality into the one you want with astonishing speed.

Self Discipline

Now let’s talk about self discipline, something that most of us would like to have more of. To have self discipline is to be able to do the things you want to do whether you’re happy, sad, angry, or whatever your state of being is. It’s the ability to push yourself to keep working even when you don’t want to, and it’s extremely important in achieving your goals.

If you lack self discipline you may frequently find yourself sabotaging your own intentions. In this case it’s not particularly your subconscious that’s responsible for your self-sabotage, it’s your lack of discipline that’s causing you to fumble.

There are ways to build your self discipline so that you can succeed in achieving your most important goals, here’s some good ones:

• Choose a small task that takes no more than 15 minutes. Set a time to do it every single day and practice following through with it. You could start by doing it every day for a week. If that’s not a challenge bump it up to a month. Do it every single day, don’t skip a day. The more you practice this the more self discipline you will develop.
• Practice setting routines and following through with them. Remember to start these off as what you might think of as easy, you’ll soon find out that it’s a lot harder to stick to it than you might think. That’s why your tasks should be quick and easy at first, so that you can practice simply sticking to it. If the task is difficult to do it’s that much more likely that you’ll not follow through.
• Use old habits to remind you of the new ones, if you’re trying to drink more water, remember that every time you pee you should drink a glass of water or two (not at the same time!) This is an easy way to remind yourself about a new habit. You can do this to remember to take your multivitamins or medications by associating your vitamins or medications with food. Each time you eat, you take a vitamin. It makes it so much easier to remember when you’re first trying to build your self discipline.

Building your self discipline can take time but the more you work at it the less you’ll find yourself sabotaging yourself because of you lack the ability to follow through with your plans.

I hope this article has helped you understand why you might find yourself getting in your own way of achieving your greatest desires.

Mitch Tarala (@explinfin) is a natural health and alternative info blogger who likes to explore the Nature of Reality on his blog at www.ExploringInfinity.com.

You can connect with Mitch on Twitter or Facebook.

Related Posts:

1. 50 Inspirational Quotes
2. Stop Lying To Yourself
3. Do You Need To Let Go And Forgive?
4. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self
5. What Are You Waiting For?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

I’ve been thinking more and more about what it means to be happy and think I’ve come up with 5 keys that are pretty universal to being happy.

“Don’t worry, be happy.” – Bobby McFerrin

1. Know that you deserve to be happy

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” ~ Horace

You have to believe that you deserve happiness as a birthright and that any struggles that you are going through are momentary distractions. Of course, we can’t go around with the attitude that every day will  be JoyJoy day or walk around with a stupid grin on our faces. But, I do believe that happiness is a natural state for humans.

If you are having a problem believing that you deserve to be happy, I suggest writing as one of your goals in your goals book “I am happy and I deserve to be happy”. Writing this sentence down, even when you don’t believe it today, will focus your mind on being happy and away from unhappiness.

You can also do what I did and write down a list of things that make you happy so that you can refer back to the list when you think that you don’t deserve happiness in your life. Here’s my 100 Things That Make Me Happy. What’s on your list?

Let today be first day of the rest of your life has a happy person.

2. Take personal responsibility for all your choices in life

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ~ Denis Waitley

Happiness is a choice. Everyone can choose to be happy or to choose to increase their happiness level. How long will you keep blaming others for choices you’ve made in your life? Anyone over the age of 18 is an adult and doesn’t have the right to blame their parents or their circumstances anymore.  You don’t need to waste the rest of your life or your energy being a victim. Take personal responsibility for everything in your life and trust yourself to choose those things that will result in your happiness.

Tal Ben-Shahar wrote in his book, Happier, that people often think something or someone in the future will allow them to be happy. Or they blame circumstances of their past. Ben-Shahar says that people must live in the now and “rather than allowing ourselves to remain enslaved by our past or future we must learn to make the most of what is presently in front of us and all around us.”

When you stop blaming others and take responsibility for all the decisions in your life, you free yourself so that you can be on your true path in life. One with happiness.

3. Increase your social connections

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou

Studies have shown that people who have close personal connections with other people feel happier with their lives. There’s something to be said for being able to be with people who make you feel good about yourself and your choices in life. Being surrounded by people who support you alleviates your stress levels and makes you feel like you can share your uniqueness with others.

Surround yourself with people who are positive influences in your life. Eliminate (or at least limit) the amount of negative people in your life. They’ll only suck the life and happiness right out of you. Be with those  who uplift you. If you are feeling lonely, try to increase your friendship circle so that you have close friends that you can count on when you need a boost.

4. Don’t compare yourself or your life to anyone else’s

“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else” – Judy Garland

It’s very hard not to compare ourselves with others. People are consciously or unconsciously blowing their own horns all the time in an effort to be validated. I see the biggest egos on Twitter – tweets that people write in 140 characters or less how wonderful their lives are or what a wonderful adventure their live is. It must be wonderful to have such wonderful lives (rolls eyes). But, of course people are not going to write about the mundaneness of their lives. Who wants to read that? So, they blow up the most minute thing or event in their day. It’s all a mirage.

You will lose when you compare yourself to others. There will always be someone else who is getting more of <insert your comparison factor here>. No matter what you do, you can’t win every match. It will start to affect your actions in life because you are thinking how you can ‘win’ against someone else’s life choices.

It can be a vicious cycle and will only lead to unhappiness. In order to be happy, stop playing the game.

When you stop comparing yourself to others and start living your own life, your happiness and satisfaction of your choices will increase. You will realize that you are good enough as you are.

5. Expect good things to happen to you

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – James Oppenheim

Happy people are optimists and optimists are happy people. When we expect good things to happen in our lives, guess what happens? Good things happen because we are in a state of mindful expectation of those good things. Your optimistic beliefs will govern your actions. When you are feeling optimistic about your life and of other people in it, don’t you think it would result in happiness? Walk around with a scowl all day long, be in a bad mood while pushing people away because you think they’ll just hurt or disappoint you, and see if you can be happy. I bet you can’t attract happiness with that attitude.

Happy people want to be around other happy people. When you have the expectation that most people are good and that life can be great, you’ll be on the lookout for good things to enter your life. Your consciousness and attractiveness will then lead to choices that will result in feelings of happiness.

Expecting good things to happen to you becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you expect good things to happen, the more good things happen to you. Don’t you think that will result in more happiness to you?

What are your thoughts? Are you ready to adopt some of these keys so that you will have more happiness in your life?

Related Posts:

1. 50 Inspirational Quotes
2. Stop Lying To Yourself
3. Do You Need To Let Go And Forgive?
4. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self
5. What Are You Waiting For?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

Way back in 2005, I remember reading about the importance of having a goals book from either Brian Tracy or Jack Canfield. It seemed like such a simple thing to do and I thought I would give it a try.

I remember writing down my goals on March 4, 2005 and less than two months later, I had achieved one of my major financial goals. I left my job and found a better one – with a $20,000 increase in salary. I directly attribute to obtaining and accepting that new job offer for more money to the act of writing in my goals book each morning during those months. So, I know that this works.

To this day, I still write in my goals book, although many days may go by between writings. I still write in it, especially when I want to focus on the completion of one of my goals. It’s also interesting to see how my goals have changed over the years.

We all know that the simple act of writing focuses our mind and especially when you are writing down your goals, you are making them concrete. They become more than wishes, they are definite wants in your life that you are magnetizing into your life. Remember, what you want in life, also wants you.

So, how can you use the power of a goals book? It’s really simple.

First, you have to have a blank, ruled, book to write in. And, yes, it has to be paper. Typing into your computer each morning isn’t the same thing as actually concentrating on your goal as you are writing it down.

You’ll also need to think about your goals in 5 specific ways. Use the categories below to think about your primary goal in each area.

You only need one sentence to fit each area. Remember that you will be writing down these goals every single day, until you make them come true. So, really concentrate on what goals that if they came true, would mean the most to you. Don’t be wishy-washy, either. Write down what you want to happen in your life.

1. Body

Think about your Body or Physical Being. What are you physical goals? Do you want to weight a certain weight? Do you want to complete a marathon? Do you want to just be healthy and pain-free?

2. Brain

Think about what you want to learn, what skills you want to master, the books you want to read, the intellectual pursuits you want to have.

3. Being

Think about your spiritual goals. What do you want your purpose in life to be? Do you want to be more loving? more accepting? more helpful? more trusting? Do you want to study different religions? Do you want to pray each day?

4. People

Think about the people you already have in your life or the people you want to attract into your life. What goals do you have concerning the most important people in your life? What kind of people do you want to be surrounded by?

5. Money

Think about your financial goals. How much money do you need? What do you want to do with your work? How long do you want to work and what do you want to provide the world? What amount of money will you give to charity?

Of course, these five categories can be replaced by whatever is personal to you. They can be re-arranged in your personal order, for whatever makes sense to you. You don’t have to have a goal in each category but you should have at least 5 separate goals that you are concentrating on.

Over the years, I’ve wanted to concentrate on my financial goals so that goal became number 1, while the other goals were re-arranged. At other times, I wanted to concentrate on my Body so that goal rose to the top. Do whatever makes sense for your situation.

One of my financial goals for a long time was “I make $75,000 in a job that I find fulfilling and creative“. Remember when you are doing this exercise to write in the present tense and write what you want to happen (never what you don’t want to happen).

The exercise seems easy, but it’s a very powerful one. Each morning, take five minutes and write your sentences down in your goals book. Do the same thing the next day and the day after.

I think you will be astounded at the power of this simple exercise to focus on what you want to be/do/have in your life. Believe me, I know that this works.

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If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

Today’s article is from Justin Popovic from Ignite Your Essence. I think we can all learn a lot about being an entrepreneur from his experience and wisdom.

“I?d love the freedom of being my own boss.” How many times have you heard someone say that? I know when I was in the corporate world, this was a common discussion among peers when times were tough or if there were frustrating events taking place in the industry.

The idea of running your own business is very romantic and may appear to be the escape that would set someone free. The truth is, it takes a certain kind of person to make it as a business owner. It is not all fun and games and if you are not prepared to face some serious adversity, then I recommend you keep your day job.

Having said that, there is a certain segment of the population who would totally thrive in an entrepreneurship role. They have the attitude, drive, desire and passion required to take a vision and bring it into reality by any means necessary.

Not sure which class you fall under? Let me give you my 4 best and worst things about being an entrepreneur. Check your thoughts as you read them and you will quickly recognize your calling.

1. Time Freedom

I don?t think I have ever met a single person who does not strive to have complete control over their time. I believe it is the ultimate freedom. When you are the boss, you call the shots, including when you work.

The Good: Instead of thinking in traditional time blocks where evening and weekends are the typical free time, you can create your own free time blocks whenever you want. For example, when I was an employee I would always go to the gym after work when
everyone else was going. It was always crowded and I didn?t always get the machines I wanted to use. When I took my business full time, I started going to the gym at 3pm and there is hardly anyone around at that time of day. A much more enjoyable fitness
experience. When I was an employee, I could have probably figured out a different time of day to workout when it was less busy (i.e. early morning before work or late at night) and still make it fit with my job but 3pm is when I have the most energy and enjoy the gym experience most. I don?t have to ask anyone for permission…I just go!

The Bad: If anyone tells you that starting a business will give you loads of free time, they are flat out lying. In fact, be prepared to work way MORE hours than you did at your job, at least in the beginning. As an entrepreneur, you certainly do have full control
over your schedule but it can be very difficult to force yourself to take a break. When every sale, every support request and every client is counting on you to deliver, that does not leave a lot of room for hanging by the pool with a cocktail.

One thing I always encourage new entrepreneurs to do is to book free time in advance. Treat these time blocks as scheduled appointments that you cannot miss. I did a terrible job of this for my first few years as a business owner and it stung. I was not spending enough time with my wife and I was not taking enough down time to rejuvenate my mind and body. While you still may find me working on any day of the week, you will also find my phone shut off and email closed for an entire morning or afternoon while I unplug for personal time.

This is a total must for everyone.

2. Income Entirely Under Your Own Control

In most employment positions (not including sales), your income is capped and usually pre-determined at the beginning of the year. Sure there are opportunities to gain a raise or get a bonus, but it is still limited. If someone wanted to double their earnings, the
most obvious way to do it would be through business revenue.

The Good: When you are your own boss, you have the ability to grow your business as big as you want it to be. If you are good at what you do, have a good marketing strategy, a strong sales process and a market that is in need of your skills, you can earn a serious amount of money. Your earning potential is capped only by your ability to expand your business. A very exciting proposition for most people!

The Bad: There are absolutely no guarantees. When you are an employee, you put in your time, and assuming you have done a half-decent job, collect your paycheck every couple of weeks. As a business owner, you could take on a project, pour in all kinds of hours and have a client forfeit payment. The market could turn and your clients decide to cut your product or service out of their budget. If you are just getting started, you may not have success finding enough clients to pay the bills. The entire financial burden of the company and your paycheck rests on your shoulders.

This level of responsibility is not for the faint of heart. Are you prepared to handle that kind of pressure?

3. Life Skills and Personal Development

I always tell people that becoming an entrepreneur has been the biggest personal growth experience of my life. I have had to learn so many new skills and overcome a lot of fears to get to where I am today.

The Good: I have acquired more bankable skills in the past 3 years as a business owner than I did in 7 years as a corporate employee. The main reason is that I had no other choice. If I did not develop new skills quickly, I would have probably had to fold my business. A short list of skills I have picked up along the way include professional speaking, professional coaching, product development, web development, search engine optimization, professional audio recording, video blogging. When I look back, I am truly amazed at how much I?ve been able to learn in a relatively short period of time. I look at other entrepreneurs I work with and they have all had similar experiences.

The Bad: There is no room for fear, apprehension or worry. When you are building a business, you are often thrown head first into scenarios that you may or may not be mentally prepared for. It can be down right scary especially if you are accustomed to sitting behind a desk never having to try new things.

When I first went full time in my business, one of my offerings was a professional goal setting workshop. I had run a few of these workshops with smaller test groups to develop my content and get it ready for “prime time”. My plan was to have at least 10 small sessions under my belt before taking contract work. When a contract opportunity came up after only 2 practice sessions, I had no choice but to take the work. It was my first “big” deal. While delivering the presentation to about 75 professional health care workers, a couple of ladies in the middle of the room took exception with some of my content. They began challenging me in front of the entire audience and questioning the basis of my exercise. Without going into details, I was able to deal with them pretty well considering my lack of experience but I was absolutely terrified on the inside and sweating through my shirt on the outside. It was a great example of trial by fire. I learned very quickly how to deal with a tough audience.

Are you prepared to face similar learning experiences?

4. Ability to Solve Problems

When I think of a business owner I think of someone who solves problems for people in exchange for a profit. Every successful business I see today was built around a problem that needed an innovative solution.

The Good: As a business owner you can separate yourself from people who sit around complaining about the state of the world talking about how someone needs to fix everything that is wrong. You can become part of the solution instead. You can look at a problem that really bothers you and fix it. I was really tired of talking to business owners who had been abandoned by their web programmers and left feeling very frustrated. I created a program that completely removed this problem and put the power back in the hands of the business owner. It has been extremely well received by my clients.

The Bad: When you are solving problems as a business person, you are often addressing a problem that was caused by the poor performance of another business. When you come up with a creative solution to the problem, you are an immediate threat to the other providers in that space. Rightly or wrongly, people will lash out against you. These businesses will feel threatened by your presence and may try to negate your
credibility or outright attack you. Existing customers for those businesses may react negatively towards you thinking you are trying to “steal” their supplier?s business.

Can you develop a thick skin and persist in the face of resistance?

If you are a new entrepreneur or someone thinking about starting their own business, I strongly recommend you consider the 4 areas I have discussed. Find other business owners, advisers and coaches who you can learn from and put yourself in the best position for success.

Realize that it is a long journey and if you have followed your heart (i.e. picked a business that is in tune with your passions), you have all the resources within you to make it a success.

For new business owners, I would love to hear your initial reactions to some of these points. How did it impact you?

For experienced business people, I have only covered 4 points today but I could have come up with 10 or 20 more. I would love to hear you chime in and add your 2 cents!

Justin Popovic runs a success coaching blog at http://www.igniteyouressence.com and he also trains entrepreneurs how to develop and market their own dynamic web presence using WordPress at http://wpbizengine.com.

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4. An Important Exercise To Help You Create The Life You Want
5. How To Stop Thinking And Start Doing – Guest Post

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends and the people that I attract into my life. I don’t know about you, but when one friend leaves my life invariably someone else will take their place that will remind me of the older friend.

I think it’s pretty important to have close friends throughout your life, particularly at different life stages. I’ve really been blessed with some of my friends who have been very fantastic to me for many years. But, I’ve been great to them, too.

It’s true that you have to be a great friend to have a great friend. And, I have some pretty darn fantastic friends!

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your ‘friends.’– Author Unknown

With that in mind, here are 7 Friends That You Should Have In Your Life:

1. The Cheerleader

You need that friend who is your cheerleader and will support you no matter what. This is the friend that you go to when you’re feeling down. They’re most likely to give you a pep talk when you’re feeling really down and just need someone to remind you what a fantastic person you really are. They might even come over and give you a cheer with their pom-poms, if you ask nicely.

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.  It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. — Albert Schweitzer

2. The Hipster

This is the friend who is younger than you and can tell you what’s new and hip and trendy today. This friend doesn’t make you feel old, but tells you what you need to know to keep up and be cool in today’s society. They’ll tell you that MySpace is Out, Facebook is In (for now) and that you desperately need to update your wardrobe from the ’90s. This is also the type of friend that you can tell stories about the time you wore leg warmers (when they were in) and that you had the Rachel ‘do’ for months and they’ll know exactly what you mean.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.  — Henry David Thoreau

3. The Mentor

If you were a gentle mentor to your Hipster Friend, then your Mentor Friend is someone that you go to when you need solid advice. This friend always seems to know what you need to hear and when you need to hear it. They’ll guide you through the pitfalls of life because they’ve been there and done that. They have your best interests at heart and don’t want you to go through the trials and tribulations that they did. They have some things figured out and are happy to share with you their wisdom.

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.  — Virginia Woolf

4. The Comedian

The Comedian is the friend that you go to when you need a good belly laugh. She’ll brighten your day with the craziest story that happened to her that day and will have you hugging your sides from laughing so hard. Everyone needs a friend that just ‘gets them’ and this friend gets you. They can make you laugh no matter what happened. Even if your pet died that day. They’ll find something funny about every situation. And, since laughter is the best medicine, after being your Comedian Friend, you feel a lot better just by being with them.

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose. — Tennessee Williams

5. The Pusher

We all have doubts about our abilities and what we should do with our lives. The Pusher friend is the one who tells us to stop waffling and apply for the job or go for the guy because ‘darn it, we’re hawt!’.  There’s a little bit of tough love because The Pusher knows that we will come up with all sorts of excuses, but they see right through our B.S. and makes us go for things in life. Without the Pusher, we wouldn’t have gone for that promotion or asked that girl out or made you take up salsa dancing or told you to just get on with it.

6. The Translator

This is the friend who’s of the opposite sex who only has the best platonic intentions for you. They’re able to translate the opposite sex with you when you have no idea what to make of that date you had last night. They’ll tell you not to sit by the phone because he’s just not that into you. They’ll tell you that she was just being nice so that she didn’t hurt your feelings and that you are firmly on the friend ladder. Because they are of the opposite sex, they’ll translate for you the men- and woman-speak for you. They help you navigate the waters with the opposite sex.

A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.  — Lois Wyse

7. The Best Friend

Everyone needs a Best Friend in their life. This is the friend that sticks by you no matter what. They’ll go with you on that double-date because they know you need the moral support. They’ll even take the pottery workshop with you and give up every Saturday for weeks, just because they want to be in your company. Your Best Friend is the first person you call when you just got dumped and the person you call to bail you out of jail. They’ll help you move, pick you up at the airport, remember your birthday every year and are always there for you. They’re on your speed dial. And, you’re on theirs. Your Best Friend knows you and you know them. Silences don’t need to be filled and you don’t have to explain why you’re crying or why you called. They’ll just know.

Remember:

In order to have a friend, you have to be a friend.

You are one of these friends to someone in your life. And, if you’re not – why not!?

The best time to make friends is before you need them.  — Ethel Barrymore

Related Posts:

1. Are Books Worth The Money?
2. Book Review: Crush It: Why Now Is The Time to Cash In On Your Passion
3. One Sure-Fire Way You Can Start Your Emergency Fund Today
4. Do You Need To Let Go and Forgive?
5. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

This is a special treat as Jen from Reach Our Dreams shows us How To Stop Thinking and Start Doing.

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Mark Victor Hansen

Do you walk your talk or just talk your talk?

One of the main reasons people don’t achieve what they want to achieve in life is inaction. There is no shortage of good ideas or skills in the world but for a variety of reasons many of us hold ourselves back. Here are some lessons I have learnt that have helped me to stop thinking and start doing:

1. Stop Talking

This is one of the biggest pitfalls in my opinion. Talking about success and your ideas doesn’t mean you are actually doing anything about them. Obviously there is a stage in any project or idea where taking about ideas and brainstorming are vital but there is also a stage when we need to stop talking and start doing. I love having inspiring conversations but I know if I am not careful I can get carried away with the talking and forget about the doing! Listen to your feelings and be honest with yourself. Are you progressing or just making the noises that sound good?

2. Stop Input and Increase Output

I love inspirational books, CD’s, blogs etc. They can be really helpful but at some point we have to put them aside and take action ourselves. A book or a CD isn’t going to change our lives; we are the only ones that can change our life. Some people talk about self help books not working but if we buy a book and expect that reading it alone will change our lives we are mistaken. Reading some information isn’t magically going to change things. We need to be putting effort in to create the result we want to create.

For example, when I first started blogging I spent a lot of time reading other peoples blogs and commenting, which I think was a good way to find my feet. However a few months ago I realised if I want to create a successful blog I needed to start changing the balance of what I was doing on a day to day basis around my blog. I realised that I was hoodwinking myself, thinking I was spending a lot of time working on my blog by interacting with other bloggers and spending time on Twitter. However that was the ‘easy’ work. I was absorbing other peoples input. It was time to shift to increasing my output and being a creator; to inspire as well as be inspired. Since taking a step back on my own blog and focussing on ‘doing’ I feel much more satisfied.

3. Stop Waiting

Many of us are waiting for a knight in shining armour. We might not admit this and we might not put it in these terms, but it’s true. The knight in shining armour we are waiting for is the right job, the right partner and/or the right opportunity. We are waiting to win the lottery so we can do what we really want to do. We might be waiting to get the right website design so our site looks right … and then it will be successful.

Stop waiting and do something today.

Just taking the first step gets momentum going. There is a time for thinking and talking however as I suggest above, learn to be honest with yourself and know when the time for action is.

For many years I searched for my ‘passion’; what I really wanted to do with my life. I dabbled with the idea of continuing my Psychology training to become a Psychologist; I tried lots of job and studied to be a Nutritionist. A few years ago I started looking at training to be a Life Coach. The idea appealed and would meant I could use a lot of the skills I had developed in myself. I thought about this for a long time. Of course it’s practical to research your different options especially when investing time and money. However once I had done all of this I realised I needed to move forward and take action. I subsequently trained and became a Life Coach. I realised that sometimes we have to realise that there is risks with any decision, but sometimes it is more risky to do nothing.

4. Be Honest

I keep coming back to the importance of being honest with yourself and this is because it’s such an important factor in achieving success in any area. It can be so easy to lie to yourself. Learn to question yourself regularly and get in the habit of being honest with yourself. I can get distracted easily and as I shared, I know one of my weaknesses can be talking more than doing. Being aware of these patterns and being honest with myself helps keep me on track with what I want to achieve and producing results.

5. Be Accountable

One of the best ways to stop thinking and start doing is to be accountable to someone else. A supportive partner, friend or coach can help to keep you on track and give you honest feedback. If I fall into my old habit of talking about my goals more than taking action, my husband will let me know! We all have blind spots. Sharing your goals and being accountable makes a huge difference.

6. Be Realistic

I am all for shooting for the stars and I really believe anything is possible if we set our minds to it but it is wise to temper that with some realism over what it will take to achieve our goal. If we are aware of the likely challenges we will face and the length of time it might take to achieve something, these factors are less likely to throw us off kilter down the track.

7. Do Something

When all is said and done, the best way to stop thinking and start doing is to just to start doing. Do something today to take a step towards a goal or goals. One step in the right direction will change how you feel about yourself and your goal. You will have started.

Jen Smith is a Personal Development blogger from the UK who who can be found at Reach Our Dreams. Why not connect with Jen on Twitter @reachourdreams or if you liked this article then why not subscribe to her RSS Feed?

Photo Credit

Related Posts:

1. Using Visualization To Get To Point Z From Point A
2. The Only Words You’ll Need To Overcome Your Fears
3. From Homeless To The Infopreneur – Guest Post
4. Do You Need To Let Go and Forgive?
5. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

What do you see in this picture?

Do you see the young lady facing away? Or do you see the old lady looking down?

What is real?

They both are, of course. Both the young lady and the old lady exist in this picture. It’s an optical illusion.

Some people will see a young lady looking away in the picture while other people will see an old lady looking down. Depending on how you look at it, part of the picture might be the young woman’s nose and eyelash, or it might be a wart on the old woman’s nose. What is the young woman’s ear might be the old woman’s eye. What is the young woman’s necklace might be the old woman’s mouth.

The picture itself hasn’t changed. Your mind just emphasizes different parts of it to make it real for you.

If we perceive something to be real, does that make it real? If I perceive myself to be a really good writer, does that fit with reality? Do others perceive me that way, or am I just fooling myself? If it’s my reality, does that make it real?

Here’s another example. How do you perceive your ‘worth’ money-wise?

If you think of yourself as a hard worker and feel that you are ‘worth’, let’s say $50,000 per year, when someone comes along and is willing to pay you, let’s say $85,000, it changes your perception of yourself. (I’m not talking about me in this example)

Your eyes are opened to the possibilities. Wow, my skills are worth $85, 000!

This is why I like reading books on success, personal development, finance, and other genres that get you to change your perception about the world, your life, and your possibilities.

By changing your perception, you change your reality.

Brian Tracy’s ‘Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life‘ book is a book that has such a profound impact on my thinking. Some of the more practical concepts that I’ve taken from this book are:

When you believe something to be true, it becomes true for you, whatever the fact may be. “You are not what you think you are, but what you think, you are.”

The fact is that you can never earn much more or less than your self-concept level of income. If you want to make more money, you have to change your beliefs about yourself relative to income and money.

Your aim is to become so confident, courageous, strong, and resolute that you can set any goal for yourself with the firm knowledge that you can learn what you need to learn, and do what you need to do, to eventually achieve it.

The more different things you do that are likely to help you to achieve your goal, the more likely it is you will do the right thing at the right time.

Prosperous and wealthy people have a prosperous and wealthy mind-set. When you develop the same mind-set that other successful people have, you will soon enjoy the same results and experiences that they do.

The greatest wealth you could possibly possess is between your ears. You can create an unlimited future for yourself by tapping into your brainpower and channeling it, like a powerful current, to energize your life and get you anything you really want.

If you generate 20 ideas per day, 5 days per week, 50 weeks per year, you will come up with an astounding total of 5,000 new ideas to improve your life and work each year.

The most important principle of human life is that you become what you think about most of the time. The most successful men and women report the same things. They think about what they want and how to get it most of the time.

In the book, Brian Tracy outlines 6 steps to achieving any goal. They are:

Step 1: Decide exactly what you want
Step 2: Write down your goals
Step 3: Be willing to pay the price
Step 4: Make a detailed plan
Step 5: Take action on your plan
Step 6: Do something every day
Step 7: Never give up

I think Step 1 is the hardest. Once you decide what it is that you want, the other steps just seem to fall into place. At least that’s my experience. If you want something badly enough, chances are that you will do what it takes to achieve it. You will invest in yourself. You will pay the price, whatever it is.

Isn’t it true that many people simply do not want to change that much?

But without change, we become stagnant. Our lives become small.

We do not see see things as they are, we see things as we are. — Anais Nin

How about you? Are you ready to make your perceptions your reality?

Related Posts:

1. Are Books Worth The Money?
2. Book Review: Crush It: Why Now Is The Time to Cash In On Your Passion
3. One Sure-Fire Way You Can Start Your Emergency Fund Today
4. Do You Need To Let Go and Forgive?
5. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

It may seem like people are changing all of a sudden around us. The person who suddenly decides to join a gym and then you see them working out every day. Or the person who suddenly decides to quit smoking. Or the person who suddenly ends a long-distance relationship. How about the person at work who has suddenly decided to leave their job and start their round-the-world trip?

It may seem like these decisions were made quickly, but there are various stages of change that these people went through internally before you became aware of the external changes.

Back in the 1970s, James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente developed the SCM Model (Stages of Change Model) to theorize the various behavioural changes that a person goes through on their way to a successful change.

An understanding of these stages and the model can help you (and others) understand where you are on the spectrum so that you are ready to advance to the next level. There’s no use fooling yourself that you are ready for change when you’re not.

Lasting change only comes when you go through the various stages. The stages do not have to be progressive and it’s up to the person to decide at what stage they are in and how they will progress (or regress) to the other stages.

Of course, this is only one model, but it’s a powerful one to explain human behaviour and can help people understand how they can make lasting changes in their lives.

I read about this model years ago when I wanted to change careers. It really helped me recognize if I was really ready for change or if I just unsatisfied with my current job situation and I think it can help you, too.

The Stages of Change

1. Precontemplation

The Precontemplation stage is where you are not ready to acknowledge that you need to change. For instance, if you’re smoker you defend your bad habit to others when they nag you to quit.

Maybe you’re okay with your career of basket-weaving and no one can convince you that you need a new marketable career, even though you’re being evicted and can’t pay your bills.

You don’t see that you have a problem that needs changing.

2. Contemplation

The Contemplation stage is where you realize that something has to change but you’re not sure what it is or if you really want to make a change or not.

At this stage, you’re thinking and thinking and thinking that something has to change in your life but you’re still kind of wishy-washy about the whole thing.

I mean, you know that you could lose a little bit of weight but you’re convinced that you have a healthy relationship with your spouse and they don’t seem to mind (so much).

So what if it bothers you a little that you have no money at the end of the week because you spent it buying STUFF – after all, it’s going to be spent on something, right?

You’re not yet prepared to make any changes in your life, but you’re thinking hard about the consequences of not changing.

3. Preparation

The Preparation stage is what is says it is. You are preparing to make a change in your life. You are gathering information and thinking of changing, but you haven’t taken any real action yet.

This is where you start talking to other people who have already made the change that you want to make. You make a list of blogs and are starting to gather materials such as networking with other entrepreneurs because you think you want to make that career change. Or you sign up to receive some travel brochures on various countries that you would live to move to.

You are determined to make a change and your motivation is high. You’re starting to research everything that you need to know about making your change because you want to move to the next stage.

4. Action

The Action stage is where you and others actually see you making the change in your life. You have already decided to change and you are now ready to take action. You are walking your talk. There’s no stopping you because you have already determined that some behaviour in your life has to change and you are following through.

You’ve done your research and you know what you have to do and are doing it in this stage. You’re actively trying different techniques to stop smoking.

Or you’ve joined the gym and are going every day. You’re writing down everything that goes past your lips into your food diary.

You’ve started your blog and are now writing consistently. You believe in yourself and are taking positive action to change your life.

5. Maintenance

The Maintenance stage is where you continue to take action on your change. You are progressing and continuing to change.

This is where you continue going to the gym every day. You are continuing to use the smoking-cessation patches because you know that to stop at this stage means a relapse.

It’s really important when you are at this stage to renew your commitment to your new behaviour, avoid temptations and to have systems in place so that you don’t relapse.

For instance, you hire technical people to help you on your blog’s design or you start to accept guest-posts. You develop a system for working out every day. You enlist your friends and family by telling them that you’ll pay them $100 if they ever see you light up again.

6. Termination (or Relapse)

The Termination stage is where the new behaviour you adapted is now a part of your life. This can also be the relapse stage where you have abandoned the change and have relapsed to where you were before.

You are now a non-smoker. Your whole mindset has changed to incorporate the new behaviour into your life. You self-identify as a blogger, or an entrepreneur, or a world-traveler or whatever-the-case-may-be.

If you have relapsed, that’s a normal stage of the change model. Everyone slips and makes mistakes. But, the best thing is for you to try again. Maybe you failed at your first business model. Try a different one.

You ate the ice cream and gained 5 lbs back. Or you haven’t blogged in a month. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just recognize the stage that you found yourself in, and regress back to the Action or Maintenance stage. Start again.

There is no shame is starting over. Lasting change takes time and determination.

Do you recognize any of these stages in your life? I certainly do! I’m currently in the Action stage where it comes to this blog. Prior to October of last year, I was definitely in the Contemplation stage. Regarding my career, I think I’m in the Preparation stage as I investigate new avenues of making a living.

What do you think? Is this a useful model for you to recognize the various stages of change and how you can progress (or regress) to ensure that your change is lasting?

Related Posts:

1. Using Visualization To Get To Point Z From Point A
2. The Only Words You’ll Need To Overcome Your Fears
3. From Homeless To The Infopreneur – Guest Post
4. Do You Need To Let Go and Forgive?
5. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

This is my 100th post on A Meaningful Existence. Yeah! I’m happy to mark this important benchmark because I totally missed the 6th month anniversary of the site. I guess I must have been too busy writing about personal development strategies for you to notice the date flying by

My first post was something that I quickly put up to get over the fear of starting to write: The First Step and it quickly followed by some less-than-stellar articles during the first few weeks while I was trying to figure how it all worked. But, I persevered and have now wrote 100 articles.

In case you are curious (and I know just how curious most of you are) here are some of my stats so far:

• first article posted on October 4, 2009
• 100 articles (as of today April 28^th, 2010)
• 1150 comments so far (a fair bit are mine, but I’m really happy that my comment stats are more than my spam stats)
• Alexa ranking 288,644 (back on January 3, 2010 it was 5,016,865 so I’ve come a long way baby)
• #1 or #2 ranking on Google for the search term “a meaningful existence“
• #2 page on Google for the search term ”personal development strategies“
• 127 subscribers (thank you so much for trusting me with your email address and I hope you liked the ebook and the weekly communications)
• 1 FREE ebook Just For Today Challenge – 31 Days To A Better You (which I’m very proud of because it’s over 120 pages and was a lot of hard work)

I’ve also had one guest-post on this site: From Homeless To The InfoPreneur – Guest Post which I absolutely loved because it was so inspirational. Thank you, James Speaking of guest-posts, I am opening up the site to more guest-posts, so if you are interested in writing for the site, please contact me.

I’ve written 2 guest-posts, one for Ben called I’ve Won The Lottery and one for James called Top 5 Symptoms of Bloggers Behaving Badly. Only 2 guest-posts. Pitiful, I know. Guest-posting is something that I really need to do more of over the coming months.

I’ve joined James’ T.I.P. Team and am writing an article every Monday at The InfoPreneur. You should definitely check out the great articles that are being posted there by James, his guest-posters, and the rest of the T.I.P. Team.

What’s next?

Well, more high-quality articles for you, for one! I am also working on creating more info products to help more people soon. I also want to network more with other bloggers. 

What have I learned so far? The top 5 are:

1. Blogging is hard work!!

2. People seem to want to hear what I have to say and like my writing. This means the world to me.

3. Blogging is so worth it.

4. Blogging is hard work!!

5. There is a lot of sacrifice with writing quality articles for the site, but it’s all worth it when you get such awesome feedback and know that you are making a difference in people’s lives.

I have gained more from writing here than I ever expected back in October 2009.

I wanted to say Thank You So Much to all of the people who comment, tweet, and email me. Without you, I wouldn’t have any meaning for this site. You make it all worthwhile.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!